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    Wednesday, February 1st, 2012

    Catherine Clinch’s Media Grazing: How Old Are You … Really?

    I am in the process of blackmailing my father.

    For Christmas, my father gave me a Kindle and a Nook. Immediately thereafter, he told me he had written a play and asked me to “put it on those” so he could start selling his play online. He even had a marketing plan which, frankly, was quite interesting. I told him that I would be happy to do it for him IF he would let me clear out 30 years of clutter from his home. Being a stubborn Greek man, he was not about to let his daughter go through his things. I told him I understood, and I hoped he would understand that I would not be able to upload his play onto the digital readers for him until his home was cleared. A negotiation ensued. I won. Four weeks and three dumpsters’ worth of accumulated non-essentials later, my father’s apartment was ready to be painted and re-carpeted. My father saw this “construction” phase as an opportune time to spend a week in Las Vegas.

    Did I mention that my father is 93 years old?

    For way too long, Hollywood has taken the point of view that after a certain age people are set in their ways and stop consuming media. Especially new media. Ergo, they are not a desirable audience segment. As a result, Hollywood surmised that older creatives were equally set in their ways. Ergo, they are not a desirable employee pool. Anyone who has become trapped in this netherworld of misconception can tell you this is a fallacious argument. Be that as it may, Hollywood continues its pursuit of the young and the new only to discover that their most desirable demographic has become fickle and harder to seduce.

    If the idea that an individual’s age has a direct correlation to their capacity to understand and/or consume new media, somebody forgot to send the memo to Kirk Kerkorian. When the former owner of MGM sold his studio in 2005, new media was still a series of bubbles that were crashing into each other at a frenetic pace. The assumption was that this man of great accomplishments was ready to relax his way into “The Long Goodbye.” Rather, it seems, Kerkorian took a pause to reflect on which direction he wanted to pursue for the next stage of his career. Along the way, he endowed an academic scholarship for the honors program at UCLA and invested in the automotive industry.

    Flash forward to 2012. Kerkorian has decided that online distribution into global territories looks like a growth industry. Consequently, he is looking to purchase an entertainment production or technology company that can serve as his vehicle into the biggest corridor of new media.

    Did I mention that Kirk Kerkorian is 94 years old?

    Now, I will be the first to admit that while my father walks two miles each day — just because he can — and is not representative of everybody over 90. But there was an indication that something was percolating in the back of his sharp-as-a-tack mind when he showed up for a holiday dinner with a stack of index cards and started asking his three grandsons the questions he’d written on them:

    “What is a Google?”

    “Where is the NetFlix?”

    “How does digital commerce work?”

    Next thing I knew, my father had purchased a laptop and a printer and started to surf the web. Through Best Buy, Dell and HP had a new customer. Do you think they care how old my father is? Or were they just happy to have a new customer who is already formulating plans for his expansion into a new career as a playwright?

    If we’re going to move gracefully into the future, we have to leave our old, broken, erroneous ideas behind us. Hollywood is a commerce based industry. The “over 50” population is the largest growing demographic in our country. It also possesses the largest pool of disposable income at a time of economic crisis, which should matter to the finance executives that determine the bottom line.

    Lucky for me, the longevity gene seems to have trickled down into my DNA. Lucky for you, I’ll be keeping you posted on my father’s new career.

    Catherine@nuclearfamilyfilms.com

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    Monday, January 30th, 2012

    Kalika — Off The Wall: I Had A Dream

    Have you ever had a prophetic dream come true? I haven’t. But, I used to think it was possible, so I bought one of those dream books that teach you how to document and interpret your dreams and followed it to the letter. I even kept a small flashlight on the nightstand so if I woke up after a dream, I could write it down before I forgot it. I was excited, anticipating the discovery of my real Self. But, after 30 days, I had found no insight into my life, nor any sense of enlightenment. So, after dreaming about doing a backward flip as Don Cornelius bogeyed me down the line on “Soul Train,” I gave it up forever.

    Careful what you wish for though, because wouldn’t you know it, I soon began having dreams about Cuba Gooding, Jr. Oh yeah, he was all over me, trying to hook up. Being no cheap date, I told him he’d have to finance my next film if he wanted to get with me. But, he told me he didn’t think he could do that because my hair wasn’t long enough and my butt was too big. What?! Oh no he didn’t. Yes he did. Nevertheless, the deal was still on the table, so I called his bluff. I told him to give me a few weeks, then I came back with the fiercest weave you’ve ever seen, and after doing my daily P90X “Legs and Back” workout, I was a sight to behold. Cuba couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw me and eagerly put his money where his mouth was and green lighted my film. Pay dirt!

    I was flying high, everything I’d ever wanted was coming true, and I started getting my crew together and looking for my leading man. Who did I find but Terrence Howard, who just happened to be looking for work, and I just happened to have the perfect script for him. He loved it! Could this be magic? I couldn’t believe my good fortune. Soon, a buzz got started and people began Tweeting about my upcoming film and predicting it would get an Oscar nod. The entire brilliant cast was ecstatic, and we shot it in 19 days and completed post production in no time. I was finally ready for the big time. Nothing could stop me now. I had successfully directed my first film starring an A-list actor and gifted cast, and knew it would sell itself. But, I couldn’t get a distributor. I was told the film was too “ethnically dense” and could never be released worldwide. I had nowhere to turn and my dream began morphing into a nightmare. I woke up.

    It had been a really wild ride, and I jumped out of bed, disoriented and disappointed, having come so close to Nirvana. I turned the TV on to distract myself, and there on the screen was Piers Morgan interviewing Cuba Gooding, Jr. and Terrence Howard. They were talking about “Red Tails,” a film they’d just completed which had been financed by George Lucas when nobody in Hollywood would touch it with a ten foot pole. Piers Morgan seemed dumbstruck over the fact that after all these years great actors who had proven themselves time and time again, were still considered “not good enough” to cross over globally. Nevertheless, Cuba Gooding, Jr. and Terrence Howard remained convinced their film, “Red Tails,” could and would reach the hearts and minds of moviegoers everywhere, proving that true talent has no color restraints, and lofty dreams do come true.

    kalika@limitlessskyfilms.com

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    Monday, January 30th, 2012

    FNB Editorial — And So The Long Slog To Oscar Night Begins

    We’re not going to lie to you, this is just the first of a bunch of editorials we’re going to be writing about next month’s Oscar telecast, but we feel like we owe it to you to point this out, so as to not be blindsided by it later. This week, we’re going to take a moment to discuss the idea of snubs.

    It happens every year, and not just in the Oscars. It happens on other awards shows, it happens during the NCAA basketball tournament, it happens in every day life. It’s rare that everyone is happy with every decision like this that comes down the pike, so why try to satisfy everyone? It’s impossible.

    What we find entertaining, though, is how people scream and cry about who was robbed of a nomination, without pointing to the person who did actually get the nomination but apparently didn’t deserve it.

    For example, we thought Albert Brooks was brilliant in “Drive,” but since he didn’t get a nom (which was covered to great comic effect by both Mr. Brooks and fellow snubbed one Patton Oswalt), from which nominated actor would one take away the honor? Let’s throw out Christopher Plummer because, well, he’s going to win and he deserves it, but beside that, who among those nominated shouldn’t be there? Max Von Sydow, perhaps? The Academy clearly loves “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” (someone has to, we suppose), as evidenced by the Best Picture nomination it got.

    Same thing with Best Actress. Tilda Swinton? Sure. Charlize Theron? Absolutely. Both are terrific. But better than Glenn Close? Better than Rooney Mara? We’re not going to go out on that limb and demand one of the other fabulous women shouldn’t be there, just as we’re not going to say that “Win Win” got screwed out of an Original Screenplay nod.

    It did, and it was, but who really benefited in its stead? “Margin Call”? Probably, but who cares? That movie was excellent, too.

    Our point here is that everyone can wail and scream and gnash their teeth, but ultimately, one has to accept that sometimes, even being in the conversation is praise enough. Or something like that.

    Editor@filmnewsbriefs.com

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    Tuesday, January 24th, 2012

    Catherine Clinch’s Media Grazing — The Toughest Moms In The World

    Ever since the Vietnam War, we have become accustomed to the images of American soldiers fighting and dying in foreign wars. “The Living Room War” (as it has been called) turned out to be a double edged sword. On the one hand, it enabled us to understand the nature of war in modern times. On the other hand, it desensitized us to images of horror and devastation. As a secondary layer of compound damages, the technology of theatrical feature films evolved to the point where every battle scene in every movie is more extreme and graphic than the next.

    The last decade of the 20th century added a complication that will most likely remain a constant in our culture: Military Moms.

    Women have become an essential segment of the U.S. Military population. Think of it as our military’s way of offering us something in lieu of our lost battle with the Equal Rights Amendment. Women have gained equality in the ranks, able to join and train and fight alongside men in all branches of the service. But within the gender generalization of “women” we need to extract that sub-category.

    Something happens to a woman when she becomes a mother. It doesn’t matter if you’ve given birth or adopted or fostered or just stepped in to take over for a missing mom. Whether you like it or not, you are a changed human being. Your “self” takes a step back to focus on others. Your judgment becomes influenced by values that remove the black and white of an issue and transform it into a million shades of gray. While mothers have been in the military for generations, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have resulted in far more being deployed than ever. But ask yourself this: how many times have you seen media or news coverage of a woman in uniform talking about her role as a mother? You’ve seen news coverage of dads returning to surprise their kids at school. But how many times have you seen a feature on a mom’s homecoming?

    Last year, three women decided it was time to tell that story. Meredith Vieira came from a news background that afforded her an opportunity to travel overseas to visit with our troops. Last year, she stepped out of the television spotlight of “The Today Show” and formed a production company. Abigail Disney took her PhD from Columbia University and turned her attention to documentary films that dealt with women and militarism. Her 5-part PBS series: “Women, War and Peace” is worth noting for its focus on how war impacts women in different locations around the globe. Together, Vieira and Disney raised the funds to enable Liza Johnson to tell the fictional story of one Mom who comes home from the war, only to discover she is on the front lines of a more personal war she could never have imagined.

    “Return,” starring Linda Cardellini, was an Official Selection of the 2011 Cannes Film Festival Directors’ Fortnight and will be distributed in select cities in February 2012. It is an important film because it begins with a familiar lie. The character of Kelli signed up for the National Guard because she thought she would be called to duty in natural disasters like hurricanes. Imagine her surprise when she receives deployment orders to Iraq. She is not battle-scarred and she doesn’t suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder. In fact, she seems to be embarrassed by the fact that she served in a medical supply operation instead of fighting on the streets. Yet she is changed by the experience to the point where she doesn’t feel at home in her own house anymore.

    How do you fit back into a life that has gone on without you? Things have changed, and so have you, but in two different directions that lack a common denominator. There is a gaping hole in the shared experiences with your husband and children. And while these experiences are similar for every Dad returning from deployment, the added emotional complexities of being a mother are far more delicate to keep in balance. So why is it so rare that we see media images — whether in news or scripted programs — that explore this topic? The bigger question that should be posed is: if Moms knew what to expect when they returned from being deployed overseas, would they continue to enlist?

    American media prides itself on telling the truth. Yet, by omitting certain stories, it fails to tell the whole truth. Johnson, Vieira and Disney have taken a step in the right direction. Who among us is willing to take the next step?

    Catherine@nuclearfamilyfilms.com

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    Monday, January 23rd, 2012

    Kalika — Off The Wall: Fresh From The Universe

    Happy New Year everyone! I hope yours was as good as mine, ’cause mine was really, really good! So good, in fact, I woke up on New Year’s Day with a smile on my face, joy in my heart, and loving memories of wonderful things to come. I got out of bed and the sun was shining, the air was warm; it was a beautiful day and I felt fresh from the Universe. And then I looked into the mirror. OMG! My nose was twice it’s normal size, and it was red on the end! Can you say “Jimmy Durante?” or “W.C. Fields?”

    I thought maybe I was still dreaming, but I wasn’t, I was up and walking around. Was this a walking nightmare? How could this be? I was afraid to look into the mirror again, but I did. The nose was still there looking like a big balloon. Did someone break into my house and inject my nose with yeast or something? This made no sense. I was in no pain, and if you’re not in pain … then I touched my nose. Pain! I immediately drove myself to the nearest Emergency Room. On the way a neighbor saw me and thought I’d been assaulted. I had no time to explain.

    As I sat in the Emergency Room waiting to see a doctor I saw my life flash before me. What if they had to amputate?! I was sure this was a condition they’d never seen before. I’d certainly never seen anything like it before. A doctor pulled back the curtain and as our eyes met, I screamed. He screamed. He looked just like Tom Cruise and I didn’t want him to see me. Of course he couldn’t have been Tom Cruise, but since he screamed also, my nose must’ve frightened him, so I couldn’t let him see me now. A nurse came running in and tried to talk sense to me.

    Finally, after I’d let the doctor shine lights up into my nostrils, he looked at me and said, “You’ll live. It’s just a nasal allergy.” He wanted to know if I’d perhaps been burning incense the night before, or perhaps a new perfume. A new perfume?! Yes! I don’t usually even wear perfume, but they’d been advertising it on TV, created by one of my favorite celebrities, so I had to try it, and it smelled heavenly. Who would’ve thought it would’ve caused all this trouble?! Then I got mad. Could I sue? No. Who would’ve thought I’d be allergic to that wonderful fragrance? My main concern was, “When is my nose going to go back to normal?” The doctor smiled and said, “I’ll give you a prescription and you should be back to normal in three days, but get rid of that perfume. Don’t even open the bottle again.” No problem!

    So, what was that wonderful dream all about that I’d had the night before? Why did I feel so good when I woke up? Oh, I get it. It was a message from the Universe. A message meant for me to realize, it’s the beginning of a new year. There will be good. There will be bad. But whatever comes up, it’s just a challenge. Rise to every one of them. Passing troubles never last. Understand that. Laugh at adversity and keep focused on the good; like that feeling I had when I awoke. Remember it; milk that feeling. Use that wonderful all is well with the world feeling as a gift from the Universe that you can open at any time.

    kalikaincap@sbcglobal.net

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    Sunday, January 22nd, 2012

    FNB Editorial: Now THIS Is How You Remake A Movie

    A couple years ago, a fellow named Casey Pugh got George Lucas to agree to allow him to crowd source a remake of the director's magnum opus, “Star Wars” (which some, sadly, now call “Star Wars: A New Hope,” like it's something out of that “Twilight” saga). The quirk behind the idea that made it so winning was that people could reinterpret the movie in 15-second intervals. As in, everyone involved had a single 15-second scene to remake however they wished. Within a few months, the entire thing was done and now it's complete and viewable online. And it's a thing of wonder.

    Back when it was first announced, in 2009, we thought the thing was a lark and kind of silly, but we withheld judgment until we saw the results. When the first clips were released, we were astonished by what we saw. Some of them were brilliant and shot with polish and professionalism, others amateurish and appearing as if they were filmed in a dorm room (as some most certainly were), but what they all had in common was a great and sincere reve

    rence for the original material.

    It's no wonder that people get so geared up about how George Lucas has tarnished his own reputation and work by constantly tinkering with and manipulating products that were really and truly done right the first time, and which are loved on a universal scale by literally tens of millions.

    When you look at this finished piece of art, known as “Star Wars Uncut: Director's Cut,” it's obvious just how much the hundreds of filmmakers behind the project were moved by the original film, and how much tender loving care went into each and every 15 second bit.

    We spent a chunk of the weekend randomly skipping around to see a couple minutes at a time (often completely out of order), and found ourselves hypnotized by it. Not just by the quality and diversity of the various short films, but by the outpouring of response by a mass of folk who so loved this wonderful piece of pop culture, they clearly were honored to have their own part of it, no matter how small.

    We wish Mr. Lucas could just sit back and, for once, appreciate the mark his vision had on so many. At least, the way it was when he first released it, 35 years ago.

    Editor@filmnewsbriefs.com

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    Wednesday, January 18th, 2012

    Catherine Clinch’s Media Grazing: The First Annual Clincher Awards

    It’s that time again. As we roll into another new year you can’t help but trip over the red carpets that blanket our industry, linking gifting suites and awards venues with pre and post and after parties. Yet, amidst this crowded calendar of fits and fetes, we inadvertently neglect to honor some of the most resounding moments of the previous year. And so it is in honor of these misfits of media that I have created The Clinchers. The categories are completely arbitrary and the solitary ballot was not tabulated by any reputable accounting firm.

    Best Unscripted Moment By An Actor With The Paparazzi: The award goes to Ryan Gosling, for charming the heart of a paparazzo girl and convincing her to put down her camera and talk to him. “Let’s talk,” he suggested, “just you and me.” Who among us wouldn’t have complied with his request?

    Best Reinvention of an Acting Career: Albert Brooks plays a small time mobster in “Drive.” There is nothing too remarkable about the supporting role Brooks plays. Yet, in a single moment he perpetrates a shocking murder that comes out of nowhere, grabs you in the gut and won’t let go. In the minute that follows, he transforms a relatively mundane character into one with a chaotic complexity having the darkest of undertones. Not bad for a fella previously known as that neurotic but likable comic.

    Best Juxtaposition of Sacred Vows During a Media Circus: This year offered us an opportunity to compare and contrast two spectrums of the same ritual. Taking the concept of a wedding video completely over the top, two happy couples demonstrated the yin and the yang of a spectacle wedding. The Royals vs. The Kardashians became a demonstration of Class vs. Classless. One charming couple will live happily ever after while the other has already been relegated to the pile of expired tabloids on the dusty table in your doctor’s waiting room.

    Best Performance by a Bridesmaid: You have to love Melissa McCarthy. She represents the elastic-waistband crowd with grace and wit, as she redefines the boundaries of good taste for women in comedy. Nevertheless, in this category she was runner up to Pippa Middleton. It’s hard enough to be the sister of the bride under normal circumstances. But Pippa stood in the shadow of a sister who was redefining what it means to be a princess in the 21st century. Suffering the brunt of every global version of the booty joke, Pippa behaved like a lady at all times. Somebody throw her a bouquet.

    Best Reminder of the True Impact of a National Tragedy: “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” enables us to revisit the greatest tragedy of our generation through the eyes of a child, reducing the theme of lost innocence to a far more personal sense of loss. Thomas Horn portrays the character of Oskar Schell — a boy with a borderline diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome — with a poignant reality and complex dimensions. By exploring the biggest story in the world through the tiny details of one small victim we are able to gain understanding and experience cathartic release. Shame on every other award show that overlooked this extremely brilliant and incredibly well-told story.

    Best Scene in a War Film: In the middle of Steven Spielberg’s “War Horse,” one tiny scene steals our hearts. No spoiler alerts are necessary because I’m not going to spill the beans on something you should experience for yourself. The scene portrays an unlikely interaction between two characters named Peter and Colin. I predict this three minute clip will make its way onto every “classic scenes” reel for the next hundred years.

    Best Columnist: New York Times columnist Thomas L. Friedman combines intellectual analysis with humanistic perspective to show us what is going on in the parts of the world “where birds don’t fly” and where we will most likely never tread with our own little footsies. Friedman leads the way to clarity without ever talking down to his readers. He is a national treasure.

    Best Reinvention of a Hollywood Trade Paper: The Hollywood Reporter was reimagined by a leadership team that found a happy medium between press release reporting and commercial appeal. By blending analysis with sparkle dust, they managed to find the sweet spot for entertainment professionals who were tired of reading flat details about tinsel town.

    Best Opening Scene That Delivers What The Title Implies: The first five minutes of “Drive” take us into the back roads and allies of the LA neighborhoods you won’t want to be in after dark. It shows us everything we need to know about the character – and – it keeps us on the edge of our seats while doing it.

    Best Media Risk: When Oprah Winfrey announced the launch of OWN — The Oprah Winfrey Network — women across the country vowed to follow their guru to cable. But that didn’t happen. With a shaky start that lead to shrinking ratings, Oprah took her first stumble, but she didn’t fall. She rolled up her shirt sleeves and dug deeper into the program lineup. The monetary value of her hands on approach is yet to be determined. But whether things pick up or continue to plateau, betting on Oprah offers a meaningful ride into places you will want to be. Once again, she has proved to be the gutsiest gal in the industry.

    Biggest Waste of Animation: “Mars Needs Moms” was a clear misfire. With a $150 million budget and a worldwide gross of $35.4 million, there is no doubt that it failed to connect with the audience. But having sat through the film, I found myself repeatedly wondering why this wasn’t done as a live action film with special effects. Clearly, it might have stood a better chance of connecting with the target audience. This film should stand as a cautionary tale to those who get excited by the potential of technology: if the story doesn’t fit the tech, move on to something that does.

    Most Unnecessary Awards: Um … Let’s not go there.

    Catherine@nuclearfamilyfilms.com

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    Thursday, December 15th, 2011

    FNB Op-Ed — Ex-Pat Whining

    By Andrew Hurley

    In light of the failure of “Prime Suspect” to heed anything at all of value from the show it was inspired by, I just want to quickly address that writing staff, before I breathe and move on. Forget, for a moment, that Maria Bello drew her weapon more than “Walker, Texas Ranger,” forget the car chases and everything else, you guys took a character riddled with personal and attachment issues and translated her into a woman with a warm and supportive relationship with her Dad and boyfriend, who is occasionally irritable as she tries to quit smoking, surrounded by a group of Boston cops, in New York, who dislike her purely because sexism is alive and well in the modern police? Did any of you even see the original show?

    And exhale.

    As I sit here, wiping apple, bananna and oatmeal from my daughter’s forehead, watching “Kingdom,” a 2007 British legal drama starring the most English of all actors, Stephen Fry (the Peter Cook to Hugh Laurie’s Dudley Moore … don’t even get me started on that “Arthur” remake), it occurs to me that we may be importing the wrong type of TV show from England.

    I am not at all interested in being that mooning, homesick type of ex-pat — laboriously pointing out the difference between solicitors and barristers — however, it appears to me that here in New York, most of us actually know more lawyers than actors and, honestly, I don’t know a single one who practices criminal law.

    The amazing thing about past and present TV shows regarding the legal profession is how utterly they managed to delude a whole generation about what exactly is involved in this job. “LA Law” has a lot to answer for. My own fianceé is currently at a position in an investment bank where her doctorate in law is used for very little besides winning arguments about who is more qualified.

    Real lawyers — and here I’m talking about the ones who actually practice law — for the most part never see the inside of a courtroom, never object, don’t have affairs with dreamy co-workers and almost never foil the FBI, CIA and Mafia simultaneously (thank you for your contribution, Mr. Grisham). Real lawyers deal with wills, probate court, immigration and the unexciting like.

    And in a roundabout way, we return to “Kingdom,” a show that, even in the opening episode, pronounces the dictum that for every lawyer who graduates in the top one percent, there are ninety nine other lawyers out there, half a million in debt, expecting a job that exists only in our television-informed collective imagination. There is definitely an opportunity for some interesting writing here, in a story about a small town lawyer with a crazy sister and small practice, away from the bustle and self-importance of city life. The big surprise of “Kingdom,” is that when you take away the clichés, what remains is fascinating.

    Stephen Fry has been quoted as saying that the level of cynicism in the cultural make up of the UK often precludes American interpretation, artistically. I wholeheartedly disagree. The advent of Netflix and Hulu Plus has opened up a whole new world of drama and with it a new perspective. Yes, we are looking for different things from TV shows as a culture, but the success of the “Sons Of Anarchy,” (in my mind a modern day “Hamlet”) speaks to the ability of quality drama to transcend national identity.

    As my daughter now moves on from the workings of nutrition to a clearer understanding of modern art than I have ever been able to claim, via the medium of the oatmeal Jackson Pollack, the thought surfaces that it certainly couldn’t hurt a generation that is clearly furious at us for thirty years of career lies to be exposed to shows that illuminate success on a more … shall I say, personal scale?

    Sometimes characters that bare a resemblance to anyone you ever met are interesting too. And zombies … well, we all know zombies are interesting too. Right?

    andrewhurley3@yahoo.com

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    Tuesday, December 13th, 2011

    Catherine Clinch’s Media Grazing — The Award Hollywood SHOULD Give

    We have officially started the slow roll through Holiday Season into Award Season. Corridors that are now decked with tinsel and ornaments will soon transition into “For Your Consideration” galleries. Well wishes will be replaced with high hopes that run the gamut from obvious choices to the far-fetched. Hands extended in good cheer to fellow men and women will soon be outstretched to industry voters. But as the seasons change and screener discs are recycled into coasters and bookmarks, one appalling truth will remain. Nobody in Hollywood gets an award for being smart.

    Mind you, this is not to imply in any way that there are no smart people in our industry. In fact, I would go so far as to suggest that, as a collective bargaining unit, the WGA represents the highest average IQ that doesn’t include rocket scientists. The corridors of every network and studio are filled to overflowing with MBAs, JDs and Ivy League grads. The marketing and public relations offices are cluttered with experts in the psychology of spinning mud into sparkle dust. Yet, there are no gifting suites for the intelligentsia.

    Why do we repeatedly overlook intelligence and opt to extend our adoration to beauty? You don’t have to be in this town for very long to understand that an entire sub-industry exists for the sake of creating the image of perfection. God bless the colorists and the stylists and the trainers for keeping at least one segment of print journalism alive. As the pages of Time Magazine get shorter, In Style magazine is able to celebrate their largest September issue EVER! But whether he wants to admit it or not, every guy will tell you that sooner or later, beauty — and the costly machine it takes to create and maintain it — are just not enough. Sooner or later, you want to have a stimulating conversation.

    That’s where TED comes in. For the uninitiated, TED is not an individual but an amalgamation of three separate yet related silos of thought: Technology, Entertainment and Design. TED hosts an annual sold-out conference in Long Beach and a global conference in Edinburgh, Scotland. In addition, there are smaller TEDx conferences held around the globe throughout the year. After my first TEDx event, I realized that the experience of sitting in a theatre filled with intelligent people listening to other intelligent people present intelligent ideas and discussing the implications throughout the day is a more powerful and entertaining process than the most interactive tentpole movie that has ever been imagined. Yet, the important concept to take away from one of these events is that the intelligence and creativity from the TED experience is free and accessible to everyone in the world.

    If you are a writer, producer, director or actor you should not miss J.J. Abrams explain the power of The Mystery Box. Or, for a more tragic revelation, you can listen to James Cameron’s unintentional explanation of how the very same CGI tentpole movies he creates may have eliminated the need for the next generation of creatives to turn to the literary sources that inspired Cameron to envision these new worlds. When you perused the Power Women issue of The Hollywood Reporter, did you notice how many of the executive’s corporate photos bear a strong resemblance to actresses’ head shots? You might want to spend twenty minutes with Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook as she explains how women undermine their own progress in a professional scenario. Have you gone through the latest Black List and grown tired of hearing that the only good screenplays in Hollywood are repped by one of the big five agencies? Then you will find solace in Elif Shafak’s explanation of the real politics of fiction.

    If you’re like me, you’ll go on to watch many of the other 900+ TED talks, veering into territory that goes far beyond our particular silos. Along the way, you’ll discover that no matter how powerful we want to believe our television and theatrical feature film output may be, the “character” of an intelligent speaker presenting “the story” of an important idea may be as (if not more so) award worthy than what we’re creating in Hollywood. By the way, as a final aside to those of you who manage the gifting suites during awards season, may I offer a simple suggestion? Intelligent people like pretty things, too. Consider opening up your guest list to include the intelligentsia and you may find there is a huge market opportunity when your products are draped around a TED talker.

    Catherine@nuclearfamilyfilms.com

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    Monday, December 12th, 2011

    Kalika — Off The Wall: Celeb Gazing At Soho House

    Hey, Guys! Wanna go to Heaven? Good news. You don’t have to die to get there. It’s right here in Los Angeles, at 9200 Sunset Boulevard. Now, I mentioned “celeb gazing” because everybody who is anybody in the entertainment industry has walked through the doors of Soho House at one time or another. But, I could care less about seeing stars like Ashton Kutcher, Matt Damon, Vince Vaughn and the Sultan of Brunei. Well, maybe if I knew for sure the Sultan of Brunei would be there …

    Anyway, what attracts me most is the splendor and absolute exclusivity of it. You have to be asked to become a member. You can’t just walk up there like I did, and say, “Hi, I’m Kalika. I love this place. I’d like to join.” They probably haven’t stopped laughing yet! You can’t even buy your way in. Membership is priceless, although they often allow a few beggars to sign up, but not before vetting them until their knees quake.

    So, after my rude awakening, I wandered up to the office of someone I knew in the building, regaling him with how marvelous it would be to actually walk into Soho House and see those heart stopping views I’d heard about, the trees that reach to the sky, the sparkling glass staircase, the marble tabletops, the screening room, and then I saw it! Lying on his desk was an invitation to join Soho House! I was overjoyed, my dream was about to come true! I was going to Soho House! But, he said he couldn’t afford it. I told him he couldn’t afford not to, but he wasn’t buying. I really thought he had more sense than that, so I left.

    On my way down in the elevator, guess who gets on? Sean Penn. Yup. Eye to eye. Me and Sean Penn. I was in such a fragile state I wanted to beg him to take me to Soho House. So what if he didn’t know me? I know him! But, he had this look in his eye like, “If you say one word…” So I backed off. Later, I found out he always looks like that, so I should’ve given it a shot. But, I wasn’t about to give up. I tried to discretely skirt the lobby to find the entrance to Soho House. That was a joke. You cannot reach it from the lobby. There’s a special elevator at garage level. Can you imagine, Soho House has it’s own private elevator! Not floor. Elevator! Totally separate from the rest of the building.

    I was determined to find my way into Soho House, so I made friends with the parking attendants. They see and know everything. I actually considered becoming a parking attendant. But, if a car is standing still, I will hit it. No problem if it’s moving, so that wasn’t a good idea. So, the only thing I can do now is pray about it. After all, it is around Christmas time, and often there are those who want to make someone’s Christmas wish come true. Make their life just a little bit sweeter, a bit more joyous. Someone they might not even know. Someone who they simply feel is kind and deserving. Like me. But, make no mistake, I am not begging. I’m a proud woman.

    I just want to say a few more words before I slink off into the sunset wishing and hoping forevermore that someone will take me to Soho House! Please!

    kalikaincap@sbcglobal.net

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    Monday, December 12th, 2011

    FNB Editorial: It’s The Most … Won-Der-Ful Time … Of The Year …

    We were recently involved in one of our many conversations about film, cinema and the theater-going experience when the topic of all-time favorite movies came up. A good friend of ours said that “It’s A Wonderful Life” is, in fact, his very favorite movie (ours, for the record, is “Manhattan”), and he really can’t watch it often enough. And, since it’s that time of year, neither can we. It made us think about the season, and the movies that come out about now, and how not nearly enough of them measure up.

    One of the things that made us think about this topic was this hilarious piece about a movie that we think is spectacularly overrated, “Love Actually.” It has a lot going for it (there are some genuinely funny and poignant moments, and we’ll watch Bill Nighy in just about anything), but it’s also too long, has too many stories going on, too many characters (what the hell is Laura Linney doing there, anyway?), and could be about 30 minutes shorter. And yet, somehow, it’s become a Christmas favorite. We’ve stopped asking questions about why things like this happen, just like we’ve stopped asking how movies like “Jack and Jill” can clear $70 million at the domestic box office. Some things just happen, and there’s not a whole lot we can do about it, short of, as usual, mercilessly judging the American viewing public.

    But we don’t want to get off point here. The rare times we get to actually sit down and watch amazing films like “Holiday Inn,” the original “Miracle on 34th Street,” “White Christmas,” “A Christmas Story” (because “You’ll shoot your eye out!”), even the Bill Murray classic, “Scrooged,” we take a unique pleasure in the spirit and feeling that goes with this time of year, and how lovely it makes us feel, without fail. (And we’re Jewish!)

    It’s interesting to us how few movies that come out around now have anything to do with this time of year. In fact, we’ve been racking our brains about when we last saw a really good Christmas movie come out (or, for that matter, any Christmas movie), and been coming up empty. There’s “The Family Stone,” but that was quite a few years ago, now. Okay, yes, “A Very Harold And Kumar 3D Christmas” is still in theaters, but let’s all agree that there’s a certain irony attached to that one and stick with the main thesis, shall we?

    We vaguely recall someone telling us that the studios don’t like making Christmas movies anymore because they don’t translate to big bucks the rest of the year, but we think that’s fairly ridiculous and dismiss the idea out of hand. If you release a movie about Christmas at Christmas, it doesn’t really need to translate to the rest of the year, because it’s not in theaters then. And the way people buy DVDs and Blu-ray now, the concept is completely alien and doesn’t appear to hold the slightest bit of water. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

    Ultimately, we love being here in New York City in December, because there’s no place on earth quite like it. But even if we were elsewhere, we know what we’d be doing on Christmas Eve: yup, sitting on the couch, in front of a warm fire, watching “It’s a Wonderful Life,” and thinking that yes, it really is.

    Editor@filmnewsbriefs.com

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    Tuesday, December 6th, 2011

    Catherine Clinch’s Media Grazing: Raising Steve Jobs

    In recent years, I have come to realize that I wasn’t read to enough as a child. This could be attributed to the fact that I was raised by wolves, so to speak. My father left when I was four and my mother spent every day of the rest of her life wishing he had taken me with him. In other words, from my mother’s point of view, bedtime was less of a warm, cuddly, nurturing end to my day and more of a get-out-of-my-sight end to hers. Consequently, throughout their lives my sons have been over-cuddled, over-nurtured, and (while they were still young enough to tolerate it) over-read-to.

    Lucky for me, modern technology has delivered the amazing invention of audio books. Preparing dinner for five becomes an opportunity to spend half an hour listening to Thomas L. Friedman read his “Longitudes and Attitudes: The World In The Age Of Terrorism.” Organizing a closet: “The Autobiography of Mark Twain,” of course. This past weekend, I was faced with the decision to either reorganize my office or call in a front-loader shovel and just shell the place. And so I opened a new box of file folders, and popped in the first disk of “Steve Jobs” by Walter Isaacson.

    To be clear, I would never hold myself up to even merit a place in the shadow of the man I personally perceived to be an incomparable genius. Yet, there are lessons from his life that might enable those of us who are parents to raise the next generation of visionaries. We might even be able to patch up a few of the holes our own parents left in our own hearts.

    It is evident that from his early school years, Jobs knew who he was long before anybody else did. He was jumped two grades at one point and still managed to stay ahead of the curve. When held to an agreement his adoptive parents had made to the people that Jobs dismissed as his “sperm and egg bank,” Jobs opted to attend a college that was completely counter to his obvious direction in life. Unwilling to take the “required” courses, he managed to convince an administrator to allow him to drop out of school and sit in on the courses he felt would be more relevant to him. And so Jobs danced and did calligraphy and he thought about deep and important things. Basically, this technological visionary went in search of his inner artist. And it worked.

    Here’s the point I find fascinating: his parents supported his decision. Two of my sons are in the honors program at UCLA and if either of them decided to drop out to study dance and calligraphy you would hear the sounds of my screaming echo throughout the greater Los Angeles basin. Yet, it was this very act of understanding that enabled Jobs to become himself.

    When I talk to people in our industry, there are very few stories like that of Jobs’ parents. I hear about parents who set up trust funds and parents who tossed their kids out on the street with nothing; parents who encouraged and parents who disparaged; parents who pushed children to accomplish their own unfulfilled dreams; and parents who tried to discourage their offspring from dreaming too big. But you rarely hear stories about parents who enabled geniuses to become who they needed to be in the early, formative years. Maybe that’s why we don’t have a whole lot of visionaries in our industry.

    I spend a lot of time on the industry tracking boards because I learn so much by listening to the “youngsters” who hold up Hollywood. I find the early stages of brilliance in some of the young men and women who spend their days answering phones and writing coverage. I try to take the time to get to know them because in doing so I learn more about myself and about my peers. I frequently wonder whether our industry is finally willing to enable the brilliance of this generation to emerge and take us into a bold new future of entertainment. At the very heart of it all, the question we have to ask ourselves is whether we, as in industry, are raising our “children” to become who they are destined to be?

    As we come to the end of this year and our business slows down to a crawl, I will be reorganizing closets and drawers and wrapping presents and baking cookies while I listen to the story of little Steve Jobs grow up to be the man who made our world a better place. In the tiniest gesture of tribute, the gift tags on our presents will be done in calligraphy.

    catherine@nuclearfamilyfilms.com

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    Monday, December 5th, 2011

    Kalika — Off The Wall: Props To Victoria Gotti

    Oh yeah, I give credit where credit is due, and it’s definitely due to Victoria Gotti. Last week, on the “Wendy Williams Show,” she told us unequivocally what I’d known ALL ALONG. The Kim Kardashian wedding was STAGED. Oh, there were whispers in the dark, but NOBODY had the guts to say it on national TV.

    The cover up was upsetting to me because it meant that we, the people, were made fools of. Wait a minute, let me remove myself from that equation because I knew from day one. It struck me as awfully odd that someone would want their wedding televised. Not just a few news clips, but the entire ceremony was televised. Who does that? Unless you’re the Queen of England, of course, and even then, it’s not a scam, it’s for real. Well, as real as any marriage can be, but Kim’s marriage reminded me of my own. I asked for a divorce on my wedding night! But, it wasn’t televised and I didn’t make a dime off of it.

    Anyway, I don’t think Robert Kardashian would be pleased with all these shenanigans. Oooh! I bet the daggers are out now. But, I happen to have known Robert Kardashian, and he was an honest, wonderful, super nice, fine as hell guy that I used to work for. I can’t imagine him pulling a stunt like that.

    It just chaps my hide that politicians and some celebrities these days treat the public like we’re all naive kids who still believe in Santa Claus. Everyone knows the media is a very powerful tool, and there are a lot of people who still believe, “If it’s on TV, it’s got to be true.” NOT! Wake up, people! We’re not in the land of Oz. We’ve become blind sheep from watching and listening to so much stuff that’s coming out of our iPods and iPads and computers, TV screens, movie screens and also the internet.

    The internet and all other media was supposed to liberate us, not enslave us and brainwash us into believing the sky is blue. The sky is not blue. Awww, go look it up. It’s true. See how gullible you are? So, if you believe that, no wonder you can fall for a couple who televises its wedding and all the steps leading up to it, including all kinds of intimate details that we could just as well have done without. Experience has shown that those entrusted with money and power often pervert that power into tyranny, and in this case, insanity. So wake up before it’s too late and start using your own inner wisdom. Most of us have forgotten we even have it, but it’s there. Start looking and listening to your own counsel, and stop letting celebrities take up so much space in your head that you lose your minds. I love celebrities; most of them, anyway, but this thing we’ve got going on where we obsess over them and “follow” them online is CRAZY. But, that’s just my opinion.

    kalikaincap@sbcglobal.net

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    Sunday, December 4th, 2011

    FNB Editorial: Well, The Weather Outside Is Frightful, And So Is The Dearth Of News

    It’s interesting, isn’t it? How as the year winds to a close there’s less and less news to report? Or comment on? The first part of that equation doesn’t bother us so much — let’s be honest, it means less work for people like us, just check out how short today’s newsletter is — but the second part? That presents more of a problem.

    See, you’d think it would be easy to find a single topic about which to opine every week, but it’s not generally that easy. Sure, sometimes an issue will jump up and down in front of you and shout, “Look at me! Check me out! I’m a no-brainer! Really!” And for those, we’re profoundly thankful, because it means we can rattle off a few hundred words about it and then get back to our other responsibilities.

    Lately, Hilary Swank has been such a boon, and though she found herself making more unfortunate news on Friday after what we think was a rather disastrous appearance with Jay Leno as she attempted to explain that whole, “I helped salute a tyrant on his birthday” thing, we find ourselves reluctant to further abuse this decidedly deceased equine. We thought we were on to something by bringing Seal into the whole mess, but it quickly became evident to us that no one else had any further interest in the matter, so why should we revisit the thing any more than we already have?

    Yes, it’s fairly misinformed and sheltered to not know Chechnya and Russia are separate, but we can’t be overly snooty about geography. Especially in this day and age. And certainly, her explanation about the situation felt overly simplistic and trusting, but hey, who are we to judge? Have we never erred in judgment? Absolutely. No, we never offered good tidings to a brutal dictator, but we did once get into a fist fight with a guy dressed up as the Princeton Tiger (yes, really), so maybe we should just let the matter lie.

    In any event, as we look around, what we notice are a lot of movies we want to see, a fair number of parties we’d like to attend, plenty of festive decorations and, well … not too much else.

    Which means all we can do is shrug our shoulders and tell you what we think about whatever comes to mind. Hopefully, before the end of the year, we’ll find something interesting to say about … something. We’re not holding our breath.

    Editor@filmnewsbriefs.com

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    Thursday, December 1st, 2011

    FNB’s Oscar Hopefuls: Corey Stoll

    You know Corey Stoll. He’s “That Guy.” As in, when you’re watching a movie or a TV show and you see an actor you recognize and say, “Oh, I know that guy! I love that guy!” That’s Corey Stoll. And he’s sort of fine with that.

    “I never got into acting wanting to be famous,” says the actor, who shined this past summer as Ernest Hemingway in Woody Allen’s latest, “Midnight in Paris,” and is now hearing some buzz about a possible Best Supporting Actor nomination. “But there is an unfortunate need to be known in certain circumstances in order to get the good roles. But not so much more than that to become tainted. The less you know about an actor, the more you can suspend that disbelief.”

    Stoll’s credits are varied and defy any single type. He’s good looking in a harmless sort of way, tall but not too much, with an easy smile and a ready laugh, but has one of those faces that could just as easily scare the holy bejeezus out of you as seduce you. He plays a lot of cops and authority figures, but not in a way that makes you think he can’t do anything else.

    Which is why his performance as Hemingway is neither shocking nor at all out of the ordinary. The whole point is, when he’s on screen, you don’t stop and think you’re watching Corey Stoll playing Ernest Hemingway. On the contrary, you don’t even notice the actor, only the character, and the performance.

    And that’s really the goal, isn’t it?

    “I knew any actor would kill for something this juicy,” he explains of getting the opportunity to play someone so iconic. “I had all this time to prepare and I was working with one of my childhood heroes, and I just didn’t want to mess it up. I don’t think I could’ve done more research if it were ‘The Ernest Hemingway Story.’”

    There’s a general perception of Woody Allen as a director that he doesn’t give too much actual direction to his actors, and instead lets them do their own thing, as long as it stays within the boundaries of the story he’s trying to tell. But that wasn’t Stoll’s experience. Not exactly, anyway.

    “I think Woody’s direction was very helpful, in that he always wanted me to do less. You want to play all those colors of the man, but you can’t. It turns out, the less you do, the more mythical it’ll be.” He smiles when he thinks about it and adds, “He won’t sit down and have long conversations with you about the character, but if there’s something he wants, he’ll tell you and be very clear about it.”

    No actor worth his or her salt is going to enter into any job thinking, “Yup, this one’s gonna get me some real awards buzz!” But now and again, something like “Paris” happens, and people start to sit up and take notice of the guy sitting in the back of that 1920s era car, talking about fighting in World War I, and informing a confused Owen Wilson that he can’t be much of a writer if he really fears death. It’s enough, in fact, for an Independent Spirit Award nomination, which was announced Tuesday.

    “Look,” Stoll says with a shrug, “awards are great, and talk of awards are great, in that they can lead to more work and more choices, and a better pay day, but I think the second you start needing that at all as a form of validation, you’re in really, really bad shape.”

    Not that there isn’t a bright side to all this new found attention, though. Let’s face it, when people really do sit up and take notice, one tends to get a lot of perks. For one thing, you tend to get more work. Next year he’ll be seen in the Jeremy Renner-led reboot, “The Bourne Legacy,” as well as the docudrama, “Decoding Annie Parker,” and that’s just the start. There’s always the chance for more, especially for a guy who has been working almost continuously since his first TV gig (in the pivotal role of “Sex Shop Clerk” in an episode of “CSI”) in 2o04. After all, he’s “That Guy!”

    “It’s flattering, it’s useful, it’s fun,” he says of all this new attention. “I get invited to cool stuff [like Monday night's Gotham Awards, at which he presented a lifetime achievement award to one of his favorite directors, David Cronenberg], and, I know this is an actor-y thing to say, but you start to get into it and hate yourself a little.”

    But then the smile returns, as does a self-conscious laugh. “On the other hand, the second the nominations come out and I’m not in them, this ride ends, so I might as well enjoy it while I can, right?”

    Editor@filmnewsbriefs.com

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    Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

    Catherine Clinch’s Media Grazing — The Deterrence Factor

    “Vengeance is Mine,” sayeth the Lord. But, let’s face it. The Big Guy is busy. What if he doesn’t get around to it? This is why civilization developed the concept of judge and jury. Why wait for Eternity when you can gloat now?

    Gloat may be a pejorative word. Yet, it is exactly how I felt yesterday morning when Judge Michael Pastor sentenced the former doctor Conrad Murray to serve four years in jail for gross negligence resulting in the involuntary manslaughter of Michael Jackson. Mind you, while I acknowledge the greatness of the singer’s artistic accomplishments, I was barely a passive admirer. I liked some of his songs a lot, but others not so much. Today, however, I am his biggest fan. I take great comfort in the fact that his unnecessary and untimely death might result in the improvement of health care in America.

    It is no secret that I am an advocate for the criminalization of medical malpractice that results in the death and/or disability of a human being. Twenty-five years ago, my oldest son was left with multiple disabilities from compound incidents of negligence and malpractice. These incidents happened at a hospital that many of our industry colleagues eagerly support with high profile fundraising campaigns. Unlike the rare case you might hear reported, my son’s case never went to trial and we never received a settlement. I was, however, able to put a bad doctor out of business.

    Nobody ever made a conscious decision to hurt my son. However, when the avoidable accident(s) occurred, the doctors and nurses reacted in much the same way as the former doctor Conrad Murray. They thought of themselves and the future of their careers before adequately attending to the medical crisis that their negligent acts had caused. Then, they made the conscious decision to cover up the truth to conceal liability. Every day since then, when I watch my son struggle against all odds to accomplish the simple tasks of an ordinary day, I see the faces of the perpetrators of the assaults that were not prosecuted. I struggle with the unresolved lack of justice that permeates the daily existence of my entire family.

    But today, I have hope that doctors and nurses across the country are trembling in fear as they watch Judge Michael Pastor eloquently justify his decision to imprison a doctor for the crime of gross negligence.

    Today, a media record was created that will reverberate throughout history. It will fade from the mass media within the week, but I suspect that medical schools across the country will require repeated viewing of Pastor’s speech as part of the Medical Law curriculum. It will be debated aggressively in hospital corridors. Peer review journals will publish articles insisting that this extreme case must not be used as precedent in med mal litigation. Risk management offices in every hospital will revise their reporting guidelines. But it’s too little, too late. The genie is out of the bottle and every plaintiff’s attorney now has a new tool in their arsenal.

    According to a Harvard Medical School report, in the United States there are more than 100,000 unnecessary deaths that can be attributed to negligence and/or medical malpractice every year. It cannot be denied that cameras were present in the courtroom because this victim was one of the most beloved artists of our generation. News cameras don’t show up when the average citizen’s life is cut short by professional stupidity. Newspapers might report on the random health care professional that becomes a self-proclaimed “angel of death” and kills critically ill patients. But your local press will graciously decline to publish extended reports and analyses about unnecessary deaths at the hand of health care professionals in their own community. It’s not because the matter isn’t deemed to be newsworthy. On the contrary, it appears to be an issue of financial prioritization. Next time you’re flipping through your local newspaper, take note of how many ads are purchased by local hospitals. Then go through the classified ads to see how many job notices are posted with the hospital’s logo. Then, find out the rates for those ads. Finally, multiply that figure by 365 and divide it by the number of every human life that is ended or destroyed during that same year. The resulting dollar amount is the media’s valuation of what they think your life (or quality of life) is worth.

    It should also be noted that yesterday was a clear demonstration of the underplayed role of the Judge in entertainment media. Attorneys for both sides made impassioned presentations in the matter of sentencing the former doctor Conrad Murray. However, the real leading role was that of the judge. While legal procedural series are typically staffed with one or more attorneys, it might do the production team some good to add a few judges to the mix. Perhaps then the role of judge might be elevated from a meager plot point that serves to annoy or perplex the hero/attorney to the leading role judges actually play in our society.

    Catherine@nuclearfamilyfilms.com

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    Sunday, November 27th, 2011

    FNB Editorial: Why You Should Run Out To See This Movie

    There are times when it’s not so easy to come up with something to write about every week, and with Thanksgiving happening and all, this was one of those times. Until, that is, we saw “Hugo,” and were once again reminded why we love going to the movies, especially this time of year.

    As we’ve stated many times in this space, we don’t do reviews, but we will occasionally talk about movies we particularly like, especially, in this case, as they relate to a specific season. Like, say, Oscar Season. Like now. And, since we’ve been seeing a lot of flicks lately — and have many more to see in the weeks to come — we’re starting to think about the best movies and performances of the year and how much we’ve enjoyed a small number of movies that really deserve a fair amount of attention.

    “Hugo,” for instance, is one of those strange films that confounds description, and yet is exactly the kind of movie any lover of movies should see. We saw it over the weekend with three like-aged family members, none of whom liked it as much as we did, and all of whom were slightly confused about what they were seeing, as each had been led to believe by the studio marketeers that the story was going to be very different from what it was. Without giving anything away (which is kind of important, and there are a couple fair-sized reveals in the story), it’s about movies. The magic of them, the way they capture our imagination, the way we lose ourselves in their stories, even how — if they’re done correctly — they make us think a bit differently after we see them. It’s the best film Martin Scorsese has made in a very long time (we have to admit we are not at all fans of “The Departed”), and really should be at the top of your list.

    It’s been a while since we felt that sense of magic while leaving the theater, and were reminded once again why we put up with so much of the garbage we allow the studios to inundate upon us. We suffer the trash to realize a gem like this, and we feel rewarded for our considerable patience.

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    Monday, November 21st, 2011

    Kalika – Off The Wall: Brad Pitt Gone Crazy

    Hi, Guys. I usually like to start on a high note, but Brad Pitt has got me down. The real slap in the face was what I saw on Australian TV the other day. Brad Pitt all tanned, and with a mustache and beard, looking good enough to sop up with a piece of bread, talking about how he’d be calling it quits at 50. Well, I’m sure it was obvious to anyone who was watching that he’d lost his mind. Look in the mirror, Brad! You’re looking better than you ever have in your life. You’ve got a whole lot more good years left in you. Snap out of it!

    What about your fans, Brad? What about those of us who have been with you since “Legends of the Fall?!” That’s a long time, Brad, for you to just suddenly wake up one day, turn to Angelina Jolie and say, “Babe, I don’t think I’ll look this good when I’m 50, do you?” And obviously Angelina agreed and told you to stop while you were ahead. Why, Angelina, why? Is it because you really just want him completely to yourself? You know that man is going to be looking good when he’s 110 years old! He’s got a whole lot of years left to be in front of the camera and you know it. So, just chill out, girl. No need to be so selfish. We just want to look at him, that’s all, and from a distance, so what’s the big deal?

    Don’t listen to Angelina, Brad. She’ll do anything to keep you from us. She wants you to start getting flabby, too. Trust me. I know. The first red flag will be when she tells you, “Honey, you should stop working out. It puts too much stress on your joints. After all, you’re not as young as you used to be.” Brad, whenever you hear those words, “You’re not as young as you used to be,” drop like you’re in a drop drill and give her 100 hand clapping pushups! That way she can’t brainwash you into letting yourself go so that when you reach 50, you’ll look 70. She just doesn’t want anybody to want you but her, but little does she know, we’d still accept you as our leading man at age 90. Of course, that’s with the stipulation that you keep yourself in shape, and you can do it, Brad, you can do it!

    You’ve given us three years to come to grips with this, but, I don’t think I can make it. As a matter of fact, I’ve already stopped liking your films. “Moneyball.” Hated it! Stupid title, too. And, you waited until after it was released before you started telling everybody you were flakin’ out on us. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have even gone to see it. We’ve invested too much of our time in you to let you tease us for the next three years and then cut us off and make us go cold turkey.

    Then again, maybe if you were my man I’d feel the same way Angelina Jolie does. After all, you’ve got children now and a big, loving family. Also, you’ve got more money than God! Oh, I get it. You’re not crazy at all! You’re just a decent guy. You realize it would be obscene for you to make another dime after age fifty. Is that it, Brad? Well, that’s not so bad. What a guy! And, “Moneyball” wasn’t really that stupid. I didn’t hate it. Forgive me?

    kalikaincap@sbcglobal.net

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    Sunday, November 20th, 2011

    FNB Editorial: Hm. Someone Seems To Have Gotten Away With Something …

    So, we were having lunch last week with a couple of our favorite publicists, chatting about the silly things going on in the world and the stupid decisions people make (and yes, Brett Ratner, your name came up), when we touched on another subject we all found entertaining: that whole Hilary Swank mess from a couple weeks back. But as we discussed it, something occurred to us that wasn’t quite so funny, and we decided to shine some light on it before taking a break for Thanksgiving.

    Before we get too far into it, we’ll remind you that Hilary made a personal appearance at the birthday party of Chechen tyrant Ramzan Kadyrov in exchange for a sizeable pay day. The resulting fallout led to her firing her agents and manager and being dropped by her publicists, while she promised to give the money to charity and blamed everyone but herself for the monumental error in judgment.

    Now, since we’re up to speed, we’ll point out the thing that we (as well as our two lunch companions) realized over our seafood risotto: one of the other culprits in this whole affair seems to be skating away without the slightest bit of blame at all.

    Yes, Seal, we’re talking to you.

    Jean-Claude Van Damme was at the shindig, too, but he’s kind of past his sell-by date, and isn’t exactly known for his judgment. Seal, however, is supposed to be a humanitarian. He and his wife, Heidi Klum, are noted philanthropists who support the Red Cross, UNICEF and Elton John’s AIDS Foundation, among others.

    So if that’s the case, and Seal took a paycheck to perform a song or two at Kadyrov’s birthday bash, how come Hilary Swank is the only one taking any real crap for it?

    This doesn’t let Hilary off the hook at all, it rather questions if we’re holding her to a double standard. Why shouldn’t Seal be getting the same condemnation? Why isn’t anyone calling him out and making him give his paycheck to charity? Where was his apology?

    We’re not going to stop poking fun at Hilary Swank for doing what she did, but neither are we going to forget that she wasn’t the only one who exercised extremely poor judgment. On the contrary, we’re going to keep reminding people that Seal needs to answer for his actions, too.

    Hey, Seal? You’re on the clock. And it’s ticking.

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    Tuesday, November 15th, 2011

    Catherine Clinch’s Media Grazing: The Spirit Is Willing

    You know you’ve said it to yourself a thousand times. It’s a great weapon in the toolbox that enables us to manage the endless rounds of rejection we all face in Hollywood. “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” When Albert Einstein uttered those words, he empowered us all to self-identify as great spirits. But what, exactly, is required of one to achieve the designation with authenticity?

    Rob Fried fits easily into the category. In the first chapters of his career, Fried earned an MBA from Columbia University following an undergraduate degree from Cornell. He jumped onto the studio executive fast track and served as President of Savoy Pictures, Executive Vice President of Columbia Pictures and as an Executive at Orion. He produced and/or executive produced “Collateral,” “Rudy,” “Godzilla,” “Man of the Year,” “Boondock Saints,” and many others. Then, his career got interesting.

    It’s possible the Oscar that he (and Seth Winston) won in 1992 for “Session Man,” a dramatic short subject, inspired Fried to give greater thought to the short film as an effective medium to reach people. After marrying actress Nancy Travis and having two sons, Fried longed for a different existence that was more satisfying and peaceful. So he shifted his creative energies from long form to the short and redirected his career toward the challenge of uplifting the daily experience of your life. He launched www.SpiritClips.com and began to both produce and curate inspirational short films that encourage you to “watch, feel and share.”

    “You’re on a treadmill as a producer,” Fried explains. “It becomes difficult to express yourself.” Acknowledging the fact that “the whole project is sort of a rebellious move in itself,” Fried doesn’t care what people in the industry think about what he is doing. “What I really care about is making Spirit Clips as good a service as we can make it.” His goal is to create stories that touch people. “We tell the stories we love and that we think will have a positive impact on the lives of our viewers.” He believes that by combining high quality story content with state of the art tools of filmmaking and technology he can help people improve their emotional and spiritual existence.

    Fried doesn’t know the economics of any particular short. “We just make or license the films and offer them to people on our website. We don’t sell the films. It’s a membership subscription system.” A significant percentage of his subscribers are teachers and clergy members who discuss the films in their classrooms and their sermons. Often, parents watch the short films with their children and use them as a starting point for the important discussions that many families overlook in our chaotic society. The rest of his subscribers are people who enjoy the kind of entertainment that makes them feel good about the world and the positive impact they can make.

    How’s it working out for Rob Fried? “I feel better every day than I’ve ever felt. I like what I do and so I’m rolling with it.” How many of us can honestly say that?

    Catherine@nuclearfamilyfilms.com

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